Wednesday List: Top 5 Jokes

Caitlin McKeand, Co-Editor in Chief
November 16, 2016

  1. What do you get when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?
  2. A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the heck was that all about?’
  3. I’ll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.
  4. A skeleton said to a vampire: “This garlic bread is so good dude do you want some? Seriously it’s so amazing.” Vampire: “…” Skeleton: “Oh. Oh my god. I’m so sorry.”
  5. Once there was a plain Cheerio who wanted to go to the Honey Nut Cheerio ball. If only he was a Honey Nut Cheerio. One night there was a shooting star and he wished upon it. “Please make me into a Honey Nut Cheerio.” The next morning he woke up to find himself as a chocolate Cheerio. He was dismayed as he realized he wasn’t a Honey Nut Cheerio and still would not be able to go to the ball. That night there was another shooting star and he wished upon it again. “Please please make me a Honey Nut Cheerio!” When he woke up the next morning he was almost in tears. He was a Frosted Cheerio. He still could not go to the Honey Nut Cheerio ball. There was yet another shooting star that night and he said “Please! Make me a Honey Nut Cheerio!” When he woke up the next morning he was a Honey Nut Cheerio! Thrilled he could finally go to the ball, he dressed his best and set out. There were a lot of Honey Nut Cheerios at the ball and it was pretty crowded. He hoped to find a Honey Nut Cheerio princess that night to dance with and lo and behold, there she was across the room. His Honey Nut Cheerio princess. They danced the night away, but the room was pretty hot since it was so crowded so they decided to get a drink. They went to the milk line, but it was way too long. There was no way they’d be getting a drink of milk that night, so they headed to the water line in hope of a drink. The line was way too long, so no water for them. Finally, the princess asked, “hey, where’s the punch line?”