To celebrate getting through the second unit of French for me and the many other students taking French, I thought it would be fun to delve in a film containing some French culture and what better one than the 1993 The Three Musketeers. While I feel sorry for anyone who purchased a ticket for it in the theaters, it proved to be a fun little distraction that if one saw on TV, could provide an afternoon’s guilty pleasure.

Based on (loosely I presume) the 1844 novel by the same name written by Alexandre Dumas, the film follows D’Artagnan’s (Chris O’Donnel) quest to follow in his late father’s footsteps and become a musketeer, fighters for the king, France and its people. Along the way he discovers a plot to kill the king and teams up with three other musketeers in an attempt to save France.

The movie has a fun, nutty, disney adventure esque tone that is further enlivened by its cast. The always charismatic Tim Curry plays the villain, hamming it up as much as possible. Whether he’s gleefully cackling with a sinister sneer or plotting his foe’s demise like a cunning snake, whenever he’s on screen you’re sure to have a smirk across your face. The rest of the cast gives a performance slightly above a mexican soap opera, which giving the silly tone of the film is highly acceptable and fits fine into the movie. However, O’Donnel manages to portray his character so bad, and I mean bad, to the point where half of the lines he speaks he seems  confused as though he can barely remember his lines, much less the emotion he is probably suppose to portray.

While this is a movie with guns and swords and death is a common occurrence, it carries the gravity of death with the seriousness of kindergarteners playing stick sword fights outside on the playground. It’s not particularly filling and looks absolutely fake, yet you can’t help but laugh along at the silliness of it all as much of the humor comes from the extravagant ways the musketeers fight. Rolling down a fiery carriage soaked in red wine is just one of the cool set pieces the film provides.  One of the things that i couldn’t help but notice is that for some reason in this film a man getting stabbed produces the sound that can only resemble a piece of cheese getting chucked against a wall. Though once again this is forgivable giving the silly tone and kids demographic the film was going for.

Yes there is romance. Does it matter? Not really. Do the good guys win? Of course. Watching this film is the equivalent of getting McDonalds. It tastes fine for the price and you forget about the meal the next day.

★★½☆☆☆